


And I Like You

by Morlemia_R



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Domestic, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Insecure Ben, Protective Rey (Star Wars), Tooth-Rotting Fluff, they're soft your honor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:07:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24001066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morlemia_R/pseuds/Morlemia_R
Summary: When Ben becomes insecure over why Rey likes him, she sets out to list all the reasons.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 16
Kudos: 138





	And I Like You

**Author's Note:**

> MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU!!! IT'S STAR WARS DAY!! THE MOST SACRED OF HOLIDAYS!!!  
> This fic came outta nowhere but I'm really happy it did, 'cause it meant I got to post something for this holy day.  
> Also if you squint this could almost be a companion piece to my other fic, Mine: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23206714 but you by no means have to read that one to understand this one.

“Why do you like me?” Ben asks abruptly. 

Rey pauses, moving her hands - which had previously been making a lovely braid in his hair, because she can’t _not_ be doing something with her hands - to the side so he can look up at her from his resting place in her lap. 

The question throws her for a minute, considering he has been contently watching _Marvelous Mrs. Maisel_ until about two seconds ago. She recovers fast though, because random questions aren’t uncommon in their relationship. As a matter of fact, Poe once said watching them chat is like watching a duel; all quick parries and sudden blows.

“It’s not a matter of liking you, Ben. I _love_ you,” she responds easily, reaching down to caress his cheek. He nuzzles into the palm of her hand without even seeming to realize it, jaw working in that manner that lets her know that wasn’t what he needed, that his brain is going a million miles a minute.

“I know you love me,” he begins, and Rey’s heart swells because that was _not_ an easy war either of them fought; to understand the depths of their feelings for each other, that they felt the same way, that they are in _love._ And now he says it like it’s nothing, and while maybe that would upset a normal couple, Rey is just relieved. “I know you _love_ me, but do you...do you _like_ me?”

His ears are a little pink where they peak out between his raven locks, and his eyes are already defensive. Rey thinks for a second, because this is clearly some deeper issue coming out to play. There always seems to be a deeper issue, once they get through one, and Rey is sure once she soothes this he will have another, or she will, but she’s okay with that.

“Yeah, Ben. I do like you. You’re my best friend.”

He exhales slowly and bites his plush lips, glancing at the TV; he’s not laughing, and normally he loves this show.

“Did you want to talk about it?” Rey asks. It’s not a question of whether or not there _is_ something to talk about - there so clearly is - but rather whether or not he _will._

Ben shrugs. “I dunno. It’s not important,”

She frowns to herself, watching the way his eyes glaze over, focusing back on the show. She leans over him, nibbling on his earlobe as she brushes her fingers through his hair, and he groans but there is just the hint of a giggle.

“Rey-”

“What happened, love?”

She knows it’s a cheap trick, pulling out the endearment. It’s like when he calls her ‘sweetheart’, it slays her and then she has no choice but to talk, even if she doesn’t want to. They only call each other these things in private, though; yes, they are surprisingly heavy with PDA, but words are only for them.

“It happened at work.”

“Mm?” They don’t often see each other there, although they both work at Resistance Foundation; Rey is down in the nitty-gritty of it, working on the actual logistics of how to build a house for the poor, wheres Ben is up the ladder, making deals with the kind of people who will actually _pay_ for Rey to build the houses for the poor.

“Poe was asking me how it was going...since we moved in…” 

Rey can’t help her smile, and she nods, although he is refusing to look at her and so can’t see. It’s only been a week since she moved into his warm apartment, since he let her run around spreading pieces of herself throughout, somewhat staking it for her own the same way she has laid claim to him. Finn, in only the most loving of ways, had been concerned when she told him they were moving in together after a little less than two months; but Rey had no doubts about it. She still doesn’t.

“And?” She prompts, when she realizes he still hasn’t spoken. “What about it? You confessed how miserable you are with me?”

His gaze finally snaps to her, eyes blazing. “I would never feel that way,”

She’s only teasing, but it’s nice, knowing how much he wants her around, how often he lets her know. So she doesn’t tease him anymore, pulling him in a little closer. “Good, because you’re mine, and I’m not letting you go. _Ever._ ” It maybe sounds a little too possessive, but Rey doesn’t care. She _is_ possessive. And Ben doesn’t seem to mind. “So why would you question why I like you?”

“It’s stupid…” he rakes a hand through his hair and sighs into her stomach. “Two of the women from accounting overheard us, I guess...they hadn’t realized we’re dating and they were, um...surprised? And later on my way to the copy room, I overheard them talking about…”

Rey doesn’t realize her grip is tightening on his arm until she looks down and quickly releases him. She does not, however, release her frown. “What were they saying about us?” She knows it can’t possibly have been something disrespectful about _her_ , or she would probably have gotten a call from HR informing her that her boyfriend had dumped coffee on the ladies in accounting; Ben is protective, always has been, and he only gets tiny and sad if it’s something cruel about _him._

“I heard them saying how they couldn’t believe that...well, they were kinda right, but that-”

“Ben-”

“-that sunny, talented, young Rey would possibly be dating stormy Ben Solo, and they couldn’t figure out what she must see in him, considering how unlikable he is, and she could have anyone so he must be good in bed or something but would that really last-”

_Where they live. I need to figure out where they live first, because if I murder them at work there will be too many witnesses...Han will help me hide the bodies, I’m sure he knows how to do that. Leia can help me if I have to go to court, and Finn will lie, say I was with him all night-_

“Rey.” He looks concerned, turned full on his back to gaze up at her. “You look upset. I’m sorry, I knew it was dumb, forget I-”

“What were their names?”

“Huh?”

“I need names to be able to find them, Ben.”

His chuckle would be nice to hear, except it sounds a little self-deprecating. “You can’t kill them for saying the truth, Rey-”

“I can and I will. And it’s not the fucking truth, Ben!” She shrugs. “Except the part about you being good in bed. Except, no, that’s a lie too, you aren’t good, you’re fucking _mind-blowing_ in bed-”

His ears turn pink, like they always do when she brings up sex - ironic, considering how completely uninhibited he is when they are actually _having sex,_ how easily he’ll slide his hand up her leg at a public restaurant without saying a damn thing - and he pushes himself up slowly to sit beside her.

“I’m a lot to deal with, Rey, I know that. And it got me thinking.” Rey sets her anger aside for a moment, as best as she possibly can. Because Ben needs her, and that’s more important than murdering the culprits who hurt him. He leans forward, resting his head in his hands and Rey drapes herself across his back. “Why _do_ you like me? Why do you wanna be with me?”

He seems terribly ashamed to ask, but she’s proud of him for doing it. She clicks off the TV to give him her undivided attention, trying to drag him around to look at her.

“Ben. If I haven’t made it abundantly clear all the reasons why I like you, I am sorry.”

“No, _I’m_ sorry, this is childish and narcissistic and-”

“Ben Solo, shut the hell up.” Ben meets her stare and she cups his face in her hands to make sure he can’t run away. The orange hue from the living room lamps casts a warm glow to his pale skin, brown eyes deep and a little sad. “I love you, obviously, but I also _like_ you. I can think of a few reasons off the top of my head; you’re funny-” he snorts, rolling his eyes and Rey pulls him a little closer. “You are! And you’re kind, and you care about me the way no one else has, and you’re hot as hell, not that it matters-”

“Sure, sweetheart,”

“I said shut up!” She insists through her chuckles, Ben smiling slowly at her. She runs the pads of her thumbs across his cheeks and then slips her fingers into his hair. He lets out a slow stream of breath, leaning into her shoulder.

“I like you for too many reasons to list at once. Those women were bastards and I’m gonna wreck them.” Rey whispers. He snorts again.

“I have no doubt you could. But it’s not worth it.”

“Ben, you know being with you is the best thing-”

“Rey?” He interrupts. She growls and he looks up at her, a sheepish expression on his face. “Could we just...go back to watching the show? I know you love me, and you must like me or you wouldn’t keep me around. I’m okay now, alright?” His big hand squeezes her thigh, almost completely encompassing it, and Rey stares at it as if in a trance.

“I like that.”

“Huh?”

She points to his hand on her thigh. “I like how big your hands are on me. That’s something I like about you,”

His laugh bursts out of him, pleased and surprised, and Rey smiles because he _actually_ seems a little better now, unlike his previous speech, said with all the joy of a funeral-goer. She lets it go, for now at least, settling into the crook of his arm. But as he becomes distracted by the show, she studies him.

She knows he’s intense. She knows he reserves his smiles for her, or animals, or occasionally children. She knows he’s difficult to talk to. But she doesn’t _care,_ because she also knows falling in love with him was the greatest thing to ever happen to her and wants to shout from every rooftop that this man is _her’s._ And in about a million different ways, he makes her life easier. No, not easier; _happier._ He’s a good person. Her _favorite_ person - Finn would probably kill her for that one, but Poe has long since become _his_ favorite person, so he can’t really be too hurt - but she’s aware that he doesn’t believe it. 

Maybe on paper his childhood looks easy, especially in comparison to her series of unfortunate events camouflaged as an upbringing, but he wasn’t told very often that he was good or likable. Other kids teased him, his teachers didn’t trust him because of his anxieties and tendencies to lash out, and his parents - she loves Han and Leia, they are amazing parents, but, well, - they had a lot on their plates, and really, how _could_ they fully understand, two retired military heroes who’d never felt the same kind of insecurity? Rey knows what it feels like. To feel unlovable. She felt that way for most of her life until she met Ben and claimed him, crying out for him even before she was willing to admit it.

He was the first one to say ‘I love you’, the first one to claim a song as ‘theirs’, the one to suggest they move in together because he was sick of not waking up beside her face. Yes, maybe he’s reserved at first, but he’s free with his love once he knows someone is there to accept it; unashamed of his emotions, diving headfirst without any qualms for how it might end up hurting him, so long as he knows there’s a chance it will make her happy.

 _Has anyone ever really taken the time to tell you why you’re amazing?_ She wonders, becoming practically entranced with the profile of his face, lit up in a half smirk as he watches the TV. 

A small voice in her head whispers, _so just start telling him._

**> <**

Ben doesn’t seem to realize it, but he sings a lot. Never around _other_ people of course, just her. She noticed about two weeks into them dating when she caught him singing in the shower, and then a week later in her living room as they listened to Aretha Franklin records Rey had just purchased at a garage sale. She loves his voice.

Now that they live together, they share a ride to work and Rey gets to hear Ben mumbling along to music on the way in. He DJ’s, letting her drive - even though it’s his car, _his_ sleek Grimtaash convertible, and she savors the feel of the wheel in her hands - and this morning it’s his emo playlist, lovingly titled _Thing I Used To Mope To,_ and he’s passionately crooning along to the words of the All American Rejects. Rey glances at him out of the corner of her eye.

“I like that about you.”

He glances up from his phone screen with his face pulled into a frown, which some might claim is his resting expression, but Rey knows better. “What?”

“You asked if I liked you. Why I like you. I like this.”

He seems torn between asking her a million different questions, jaw working. “You like me...when I’m listening to my angsty teen music?”

“Singing. I like it when you sing. It makes me feel like I’m getting to see you when you were young,”

Ben scoffs, turning back to his phone screen. “I was a handful when I was young, trust me.”

Rey simply shrugs. “Well. It’s one of the things I like,”

When she glances at him again, his ears are pink and his twitching lips are making a valiant effort not to pull into a smile. 

**> <**

His exhale is long as he eases his way inside her from behind, his chest a pleasant pressure against her back, and Rey grips the sheets a little tighter and mumbles into the pillow, _“I like that,”_

“Yeah, sweetheart?” Ben replies, voice husky and distracted as he begins to move. “Does that feel good?”

“No, ah, I mean yes, but no I- _ah, fuck, yes..._ Ben-” she turns her head to the side to catch a glimpse of him, and he mistakes the movement and uses it to kiss her. Rey sinks into it, but she refuses to be silenced, waiting until he pulls away to speak again. “I meant, that’s one of the things I like about you,”

His gentle rhythmic thrusting doesn’t stop, but she can feel his confusion. “What? Me inside you?” He kisses her ear.

“Well, yeah, I like that too...but I meant the way you breathe.”

“Breathe?”

“When you push inside me...you exhale like you’re relieved. Like you’ve just been waiting, and now that you’re in me...everything's okay.” She moves her hips a bit and he catches her at a good angle. Rey moans, long and loud.

“That is how I feel.” He whispers. His voice is rougher with a new emotion now, his fingers splaying across her lower-back. 

“I like it.”

Ben presses just a little deeper and Rey squirms with the pleasure of it. “Good,” he mumbles into her skin.

**> <**

There are fries left on his plate and without even looking at her, distracted by a typo on the menu he can’t seem to get past - _“If they don’t notice a typo on their menu what else haven’t they noticed, maybe we shouldn’t be eating here”_ -, he moves his plate towards her in silent offering. 

Rey stares at it. She knows Ben could finish those quite happily, he’s always going on about how the fries at the bottom are best because they have all the salt and pepper and junky grease. And yes, maybe one could argue he offers them because he’s sculpted like a god and watching his calories, but Rey knows that isn’t true; he does it because if she finishes first and her plate is empty, he always offers her some of his, and if she finishes _that,_ he offers to buy her more. And he does _that_ because he knows her. He doesn’t make fun of her big appetite or the way she always wants to take the leftovers home, even in super fancy restaurants that have never heard the words ‘doggy-bag’ in their lives, nor does he make her talk it out. He just supports her in silent actions, letting her know she’s never going to be hungry ever again.

“Do you want me to order more?” He asks right on cue, eyes _still_ frowning over the damn menu. Rey feels her own eyes begin to water.

“I like that,”

“You’d like what?” Ben looks up and frowns, reaching forward to cup her cheek and Rey sniffles because she is _not_ going to cry in a little greasy-spoon diner over french fries, goddammit. Not _again._

“I like that you do that. That you...offer me your food. I like that about you, Ben,” she hiccups quietly into her hand and _goddammit,_ she’s crying over french fries. Ben scoots around on the little L-shaped booth so he’s right up against her, pinning her into the wall and shielding her with his body so no one else can see her crying, and that only serves to make her cry more.

“And I like this too,” she whispers into his t-shirt, and his hands seem to reflexively tighten around her waist.

**> <**

It becomes so easy - as easy a breathing - to point out the things she loves about him, why she likes to be near him;

She tells him she likes the way he bites on his sixty-dollar pens when he’s concentrating.

She tells him she likes how much he cares about the work they do at Resistance, but how quick he is to drop it if she needs something.

She tells him she likes the way he hugs her for no reason.

She tells him she likes how obsessive he is with his hair, and how unembarrassed he is to proudly proclaim his skincare regime to anyone willing to listen.

She tells him she likes that he laughs when something is funny, and doesn’t feel a pressure to when something is decidedly _not_ funny.

She tells him she likes that he started buying green accents for his black wardrobe when he found out it’s her favorite color.

She tells him she likes that he tells her he loves her for silly little things - like when she brings him his coffee or brushes a piece of lint off his jacket - and always genuinely means it.

She tells him she likes that when he’s reading, he bookmarks the pages he wants to talk to her about.

She tells him she likes that he’s comfortable in silence, but isn’t bothered when she breaks it by asking a completely off-the-wall question.

She tells him she likes the dots on his back.

She tells him she likes that he really doesn’t care about accolades when he does something good. But she _wants_ him to have accolades.

“I feel like I should tell you, too. All the reasons I like you,” Ben mumbles early one morning, face buried in her hair as she attempts - because she’s been known to be a dastardly menace in the kitchen - to toast a couple frozen waffles. It’s the most they’ve truly spoken about what she’s doing, Rey figuring it made him uncomfortable to bring it up but happy to continue anyway.

“You already do.”

“Mm?”

Rey nods. “Yeah, it’s another thing I like; when we have sex, you tell me I feel good. When I scrunch my nose you tell me it’s cute. When I wear yellow, you tell me it makes your stomach do this little swooping thing-”

“You don’t sound very convinced. I might have to tell you all over again,”

She doesn’t need him to, because she really does know; she knows he likes how focused she gets when she works, that he likes the grease in her fingernails, that he likes her freckles which he trace every time they make love, that he likes how her hair smells even when she’s sweaty and gross…but if he wants to say it again, she won’t stop him.

Ben presses a marking kiss onto her neck. Everyone will be able to see at work, but Rey doesn’t care. She wants them to.

“I like that you’re mine and I’m yours.” She whispers softly, squeezing him closer. He leans up a bit, nudging her nose with his.

“I like that too,”

**> <**

It’s snowing and Rey is growling that they should have taken the car to the store, even though it’s only a block away. She’s still not used to the cold, growing up in hotter climates, and she prefers lush green to every other type of weather.

“I don’t know if green is scientifically a temperature,” Ben points out.

“How else do you describe the climate in Oregon?”

Ben laughs, a deep vibration beside her, and shifts to get closer, to shield her from the little white dots falling from the sky. She glances up, eyeing the way they catch in his hair, making him look angelic, the contrast of the white with his black clothes. There’s red in his cheeks and red in his nose, and he’s carrying too many bags full of food - food he’s going to make for her - in one hand just so he can have a free hand to hold hers, and he’s smiling, and there is just too much to list so Rey says;

“Hey Ben?”

He looks at her, his smile widening just because she said his name. “Yeah, sweetheart?”

She squeezes his hand. “I like you.”

**Author's Note:**

> See? They're soft.  
> Also yes, I totally named the type of car Ben has after the name of his ship in the Kylo Ren comics XD
> 
> My Tumblr: https://morlemia.tumblr.com/  
> My YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo5h5M0rZXp5TN6fLu4tc4g


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